Archive for May, 2009

Growing old

With my parents approaching their seventies, I couldn't help laughing at this…

I was recently diagnosed with AAADD – Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder

This is how it manifests:

I decide to water my flower tubs in the front garden.
As I go to turn on the hose I look over at my car and decide it needs washing.
I go to get the car keys from the porch and then notice the post on the porch table.
I decide to go through the post before I wash the car.
I put my car keys on the table, put the junk mail in the bin under the table, and notice that the bin is full.
So, I decide to put the bills back on the table and take out the rubbish first.
But then I think: “I can run down to the post-box when I take out the rubbish, I may as well pay the bills first.”
I take my cheque book off the table, and see that there is only 1 cheque left.
My other cheque book is in the computer desk, so I go inside the house to my desk where I find the can of Coke I'd been drinking.
I'm going to look for my other cheque book, but first I need to push the Coke aside so that I don't accidentally knock it over.
The Coke is getting warm so I decide to put it in the fridge to keep it cold.
As I head toward the kitchen with the Coke, a vase of flowers on the window ledge catches my eye … they need water.
I put the Coke on the window ledge and discover my reading glasses that I've been searching for all morning.
I decide I better put them back on my computer desk, but first I'm going to water the flowers.
I put the glasses back down on the window ledge, fill a container with water and suddenly spot the TV remote. I must have left it on the kitchen table.
I realize that tonight when I go to watch TV, I'll be looking for the remote, but I won't remember that it's on the kitchen table, so I decide to put it back in the living room where it belongs, but first I'll water the flowers.
I pour some water in the flowers, but some spills on the floor.
So, I set the remote back on the table, get a towel and wipe up the spill.
Then I head down the hall trying to remember what I was planning to do.

At the end of the day:

The flower tubs aren't watered;
The car isn't washed;
The bills aren't paid;
There is a warm can of Coke sitting on the window ledge;
The flowers in the vase don't have enough water;
There is still only 1 cheque in my cheque book;
I can't find the remote;
I can't find my glasses;
I have absolutely NO idea what I did with the car keys.
Then, when I try to work out why nothing got done today, I'm really baffled because I know I was busy all damn day, and I'm really tired.

I realise this is a serious problem and I'll try to get some help for it, but first I'll check my e-mail.

If this isn't you yet, trust me … your day is coming!

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